Friends and Family Discount
by Ilovedesserts
Summary: Provenza's printer earnings are about to send him on a vacation.


**These characters are not my own. I got this idea from a discussion about Provenza's printer.

.85, .90, .95, 2.00. There! Another roll of nickels counted. Provenza smiled happily as he finished rolling up his coins as he sat at his desk. The day was slow, which Provenza loved. He'd finished his paperwork by 10:00 AM, so he now had most of the day to just relax, well at least he hoped. If people could avoid getting murdered the rest of the day, he would have time to relax. First up was emptying the coin jar and getting that money rolled. Oh, Provenza was excited! The coin jar was really paying off. After the first year, he'd managed to pay himself back for buying the stupid copier/printer. Now, he was just reaping the rewards of it. He had plans to take Patrice away on a nice vacation with the money he had. He was almost there. He figured they could go away for a whole weekend on the $500 he had almost saved for it. $500, in Provenza's eyes, could still buy a really great weekend getaway at the beach. Oh, Patrice was going to love it. He was just about there; he only needed another $18 or so to reach his goal.

"You know, there are machines that will do that for you now," Tao commented, breaking Provenza out of his thoughts.

"Why would I get a machine to do this? It's not like it's hard. Simple math," Provenza fired back.

"Well, lieutenant, the machines are much faster and more accurate, you know," Skyes added as she smiled at Provenza.

"Sykes, really? More accurate? What is more accurate than a human being counting money?" Provenza scowled.

"How about a human being wearing his glasses while counting," Andy commented without looking up from his computer.

At this, Provenza put down his coins and pointed his finger at Andy, "You watch it Flynn. I may need glasses, but at least I'm not the one who keeps passing out in the office."

Without a word, Andy just shook his head and continued working.

"Say, Flynn, since we are on the subject of the printer, I think you owe me some money. I haven't noticed you paying your fair share for a very long time. I'm guessing you owe me at least $20 for all the times you haven't paid," Provenza said as he glared at Flynn.

At this, Andy stopped working and turned to look at Provenza, "Not going to happen."

"What do you mean, 'Not going to happen' Flynn?" Provenza inquired.

Andy sighed again, "I mean, I'm not going to pay you, you cheap coot! When I use the printer, I pay!"

"Sir, I've always seen Lieutenant Flynn pay for the printer. He's an honest one," Julio stated as he put down his pen to look at Provenza.

Shaking his hand again, Provenza said, "Oh no. There's something up with Flynn. I watched him yesterday, and for the entire day, he only paid one time. One time! There's no way in all of yesterday he just paid once."

Andy, who had tried to ignore Provenza and get back to work stopped again and turned his chair, "Drop it Provenza! I pay when I print!"

"You can say what you want, but I'm onto you now Flynn," Provenza smirked at Andy as he waved his finger at him again. "I'm going to be watching you like a hawk, and if you don't pay, I'll charge you double."

Sighing, for at least the third time in a few minutes, Andy said, "Fine. I'll tell you."

Provenza almost jumped up in his seat, grabbing the coin jar, "Pay up! I'm going on a weekend getaway after you pay me your $20."

"Weekend getaway? How much do you have?" Andy asked.

"Oh, well, from my latest batch and after you pay, I'll have $500. I told myself when I had $500, I would take Patrice on a really nice weekend beach getaway, high class and all," Provenza almost smiled.

"Sir, you plan to take Patrice on a high class weekend getaway, multiple nights on the beach with everything included for $500-in LA?" Buzz questioned.

"Buzz, save it! This is for me, not you, now Flynn pay up," Provenza spit out, almost irritated.

Andy folded his arms and sat back at his desk, "No, I don't owe you money."

"Flynn, I finally got you to confess. You said you would pay," Provenza stated the facts.

"No, I said I would tell you. I never said I'd pay. I've found another outlet," Andy smirked.

At this the whole team turned in their seats to witness the exchange. They were now all intrigued. Another outlet?

"Sir, what do you mean, another outlet? There's only one printer out here," Julio inquired.

"Yeah, I know, but there's a great printer in there," Andy pointed behind himself with a huge smirk on his face.

Provenza looked up, but he didn't have to question where Flynn was pointing.

"The CAPTAIN! You're using the Captain's printer?" Provenza said with wide eyes.

"Yup, have been for a year at least now. I can't believe it took you this long to notice. I usually only print one thing a day to your printer so you don't notice. Worked well. You're slipping," Andy pointed a finger at Provenza.

"Flynn, the Captain never lets any of us use her printer. Even for you, how did you manage that?"

Now, ignoring Provenza standing before him, Andy was looking back through his most current batch of financials, obviously not interested in Provenza's antics, "Easy. Friends and Family Discount-you started it. Well, she gave me the Wi-Fi password for free and doesn't' charge me anything for printing. It's a much better deal than your printer, plus, anytime I print, I would much rather walk by her desk to go to the printer than yours."

At that, everyone in the office, except Provenza started chuckling. Provenza threw his hands up and walked back to his desk. Everyone could hear him mumbling, "Idiots" as he walked.

Well, Patrice's exotic beach getaway would have to wait, at least $18 longer.


End file.
